ARIES

Treat yourself with some

Delicious crepes! Then treat the

Ghosts to some ghost crepes

TAURUS

That bump in the night

Can easily be explained

As clumsy monsters

GEMINI

Where there is only

One set of footprints, that's when

I hijacked your car

CANCER

Home is where the heart

Is, beating loudly under

Those pulsing floorboards

LEO

If you want to be

A better writer, then you

Should learn what words are

VIRGO

Your poetry would

Benefit from editing

Out all of the words

LIBRA

It's silly to feel

Bad about things you cannot

Change, like that light bulb

SCORPIO

Play your summer safe-

Wear a hat, lots of sunblock

And don't fall in love

SAGITTARIUS

The more that you learn

About rabid dogs, the less

You have to live for

CAPRICORN

As your trial drags on

You'll wonder if that taco

Was worth all of this

AQUARIUS

Without marketing

You're nothing- you might as well

Just kill yourself now

PISCES

You're just dyslexic-

A dog does not have to die

To absolve your sins

 

haikuhoroscopes.com

Published in Volume 78, Number 24 of The Uniter (April 4, 2024)