ARIES

I don't kow what, but

I just feel like that wombat

Is planning something

TAURUS

You're so dramatic!

The clown job will make use of

That Shapespeare training

GEMINI

Resistance may be

Futile but it can be a

Good way to meet girls

CANCER

Getting maced when you

Try to help an old woman

Is its own reward

LEO

Your mad plans to breed

That goose and that mongoose will

Make a good sitcom

VIRGO

Put more cow bell on

The album - you are going

To want more cow bell

LIBRA

Getting your homework

Done early will give you more

Time to masturbate

SCORPIO

Lead a more active

Lifestyle, so you lose weight and

Escape predators

SAGITTARIUS

The pleasure of your

Company is marred by the

Length of your visits

CAPRICORN

People with plants live

Longer, according to some

Studies done by plants

AQUARIUS

Your novel needs a

Better title than Something

To Read on the Plane

PISCES

Only one thing stands

Between you and success, and

That one thing is you

 

haikuhoroscopes.com

Published in Volume 78, Number 23 of The Uniter (March 28, 2024)