Uniter 30 Outtakes

The class clowns are at it again

It happens every year. It’s part of the nature of a poll that allows voters to type whatever they want into their ballot. We get some weird ones. We get some funny ones. We get some that are essentially the newspaper version of bathroom-stall graffiti. Of course we prefer people to vote sincerely with their hearts rather than their funnybones, but we still include some of our favourite outtakes every year. It’s a lousy deterrent.


Favourite local achiever over 60

“Anyone but the Brians.”

Favourite local achiever under 30

“Who is even that young anymore?”

“My kids.”

“Some hipster.”

“I’m too old to know anyone under 30.”

Favourite local activist

“All pro-maskers and pro-vaxxers.”

Favourite local album

“OMG Amos the Kid No More New Ideas, Virgo Rising Sixteenth Sapphire, Jaywood, Anthony Oks, Central Heat Exchange, Taylor Janzen’s album is gon be sick.”

Favourite local barber or hairstylist

“My girlfriend who cut my split ends in the bathtub.”

Favourite local comedian


Favourite COVID-safe date activity

“Pulling out the invasive purple Loosestrife flowers from Southdale ponds.”


“Rigorous intellectual debate.”


“Profane spells.”

Favourite local dancer

“People dance?”

Favourite local film by a local filmmaker

“Does Guy Maddin still make movies?”

Favourite local gallery or artist space

“Fartspace. But only when the ‘F’ is there.”

Favourite local performance (online or in-person)

“The 2021 federal leaders' debate.”

Favourite new local independent business

“Dunno, haven’t left the house in two years.”

Favourite local place that no longer exists

“Can I name every record store that was ever in Winnipeg?”

Place you can’t wait to visit after the pandemic ends


“I’m actually pretty happy not visiting anywhere these days.”

Favourite local podcast

“n/a listen to the radio bruh”

Favourite political moment

“The snow dick on the river outside Pallister’s home.”

“Pallister fucking off.”


“Forth Cafe blowing it on Instagram lol”

“Brian Pallister crying.”

“Every time Uzoma or Nahanni or Wab shut down bullshit.”

Favourite Winnipegger abroad

“My cousin.”

“You spelled ‘Winnipegger’ wrong.” (Editor’s note: we did. Sorry.)

Published in Volume 76, Number 12 of The Uniter (December 2, 2021)

Related Reads