Taking a cue from an annual feature in Spin magazine, six young music fans—Bucky Driedger, Jonathan Dyck, Aaron Epp, Thomas Epp, Les Friesen and Theo Wiebe—gathered to listen to and discuss some of 2008’s biggest pop music hits. This is what they had to say.

FLO RIDA featuring T-PAIN
Low
Club hit Tom Cruise danced to in Tropic Thunder

Les Friesen: (singing lyrics) “She hit the floor, next thing you know/Shorty got low, low, low…”
Bucky Driedger: This song’s very instructional: if you see a girl entering the club, wearing fur, smack that booty!
Jonathan Dyck: Getting ‘low’ is kinda the only cryptic part in this song. Like, what does getting ‘low’ mean? Let’s brainstorm.
Thomas Epp: Getting low on the dance floor, or maybe in the bedroom.
Aaron Epp: Are you having a bad day and emotionally low?
Theo Wiebe: Did you slip ‘cause someone spilled Smirnoff Ice in the club?
BD: Are your stocks low because of the economic crisis?

MGMT
Time to Pretend
Pulsing space-rock song by everyone’s new favourite band

JD: If you listen to the lyrics, which are about doing drugs, it’s kinda depressing.
LF: Depressing and nostalgic.
JD: I guess every generation has their drug tripping songs though, right?
AE: Like The Needle and the Damage Done.
JD: Although, this is far more positive than The Needle and the Damage Done.
AE: So it’s more like Semi-Charmed Life?
LF: Time to Pretend is the new Semi-Charmed Life.
AE: This is Third Eye Blind for the new millennium.

KATY PERRY
I Kissed a Girl
Ubiquitous pop hit about experimenting

AE: I thought there would be more ironic acoustic covers of this flooding the Internet than there was.
LF: This was produced by Max Martin, the same guy who produced So What by Pink.
TW: I think it’s appealing to dudes who think two girls making out is hot.
LF: This song wouldn’t have been as popular if it had been a guy singing, ‘I kissed a boy and I liked it.’
TE: The question is: where else are the topics of pop music going to go? This is different lyrically, because she’s talking about kissing a girl.
TW: But really, how different is it? She’s still talking about the same stuff as every other pop song, it’s just with the same gender.
BD: If she really wanted to be different, she would have to sing, ‘I humped a cow and I liked it.’

BRITNEY SPEARS
Womanizer
Comeback single by the pop princess the tabloids can’t get enough of

JD: I don’t think this song holds a candle to the Blackout material. Who produced it?
LF: Not Max Martin.
AE: Clearly he was too busy.
TE: Maybe Britney should have called Max Weinberg.
LF: I’m happy for her comeback.
AE: I’m happy she’s not crazy anymore, definitely.

T.I. featuring RIHANNA
Live Your Life
Atlanta rapper teams up with R&B singer for number one hit

BD: One thing I’m upset about: it’s clear Rihanna has a good voice and can sing. So, why the fuck is she using that computer auto-tune on her vocals?
LF: It’s hip these days.
BD: I think it’s stupid.
TE: Cher does it. She did it in 1998 on Believe.
LF: It’s robotic—very futuristic.
TE: This is what they groove to in the year 2010.
TW: This is going to be the best song of 2010
TE: Live Your Life is way before its time.

COLDPLAY
Viva la Vida
Upbeat title track from English rock band’s fourth album

BD: To me this record feels really safe.
JD: But how could Coldplay not be safe?
LF: Yeah. They’re not gonna put out a Kid A or something.
JD: I think that’s the thing—you have to love Coldplay for their immediacy and the fact that they’re always going to give you what you want at that moment.
LF: This song made me like Coldplay again.
JD: Viva la Vida is definitely an improvement over their X&Y material. Better songs, better production.
LF: It was definitely time for them to do something new—
AE: And rip off Joe Satriani.

BEYONCE
Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)
Catchy-as-hell R&B hit from Mrs. Jay-Z

JD: I can’t get enough of this song.
LF: It does go back to her Crazy in Love material, which works for her. It’s from a double album: one CD is slow songs by her, and the other CD is upbeat material by her alter ego, Sasha Fierce.
AE: Like Garth Brooks and Chris Gaines?
JD: I think the interesting thing is that it’s a double album that’s based on her and her alter ego. So it’s not like she released an album as her alter ego.
AE: Oh, so it’s more like Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana.

LIL WAYNE
featuring STATIC MAJOR
Lollipop
Springtime hit by prolific, syrup-swillin’ New Orleans rapper

JD: Yet another song, like 50 Cent’s 2005 hit Candy Shop, to exploit the metaphor of candy for fellatio.
TW: I look forward to the day when pop singers don’t use metaphors for fellatio—they just sing about it.
BD: I don’t know. I like pop singles that focus on inanimate objects, like umbrellas and lollipops.
JD: Yeah—I think the umbrella stood for something else, too
LF: I don’t think there was any connotation
JD: Do you think Lil Wayne listened to a lot of Fiddy Cent?
BD: I don’t know. All I know is that I still think robotic voices suck.
LF: I have Cher on my iPod. We can listen to when the whole robot trend started.
AE: Robots are taking over.
BD: Terminator 6: Robots Take Over Pop Music.
AE: It could happen.

NICKELBACK
Gotta Be Somebody
Another by-the-numbers hit from Alberta rockers

AE: I don’t mind this. I’ll just throw that out there.
TW: Wow Aaron, you’ve got some big cojones for admitting that.
BD: Who thought a Nickelback chord progression could get any more predictable? More proof that Nickelback will do whatever it takes to get a hit.
LF: Such a positive, uplifting message in this song—‘Nobody wants to be alone.’
BD: I’d rather listen to a song about somebody sucking my lollipop than—
LF: Than a song telling you to embrace your life?

GUNS N’ ROSES
Chinese Democracy
First single and title track from long-awaited album by once-relevant rockers.

TW: I think it’s too easy to make fun of this album and song.
JD: But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t.
LF: Why do you think Axl Rose is so enthralled with the concept of Chinese democracy?
TE: I think his cornrows were a little too tight when he thought of that title.
BD: Guns N’ Roses started making this album in 1993, and I don’t know how anyone can still care all these years later.
TW: Do you think this song sums us up? Would you give this to someone from a different culture and say, ‘This is North America’?
LF: It’s North America, but it’s not 2008.
TW: It’s 2008, circa 1994.
JD: This sounds like it was produced in 2008, though.
LF: It’s a 1994 album, produced in 2008.

KID ROCK
All Summer Long
White trash rocker combines Werewolves Of London and Sweet Home Alabama to create a country hit

JD: It’s like Kid Rock swallowed Sweet Home Alabama and shit it out.
TE: I just wish I was 14-years-old again before I knew Sweet Home Alabama existed.
AE: Why?
TE: Because that song sucks ass.
JD: This is why I hate America—because of songs like All Summer Long.
TW: I predict that this is the last pre-Obama hit of its nature.
BD: Yeah. In the era of Obama, this shit’s not gonna fly.
TW: Look out for a lot more Rihanna.
JD: And a lot more M.I.A. There’s a global movement comin’.
TW: Now that’s change I can believe in.
AE: But I don’t know. It’s like, you go to a social, and this is probably a fun song to hear.
BD: Why are you at a fucking social in the first place?!? Only if your close friend is getting married can you ever go to a social.

Read Radio Scars 2006 at www.tinyurl.com/radio2006 and Radio Scars 2007 at www.tinyurl.com/radio2007.

Published in Volume 63, Number 18 of The Uniter (January 29, 2009)