1. Movies
2. Eat food
3. Visit the Forks

 

“Anything but a movie!”

Most people who’ve used a dating app have seen this refrain on potential dates’ profiles. Maybe you’ve typed it in your own. The section in which people describe their ideal date night frequently inspires a shocking degree of animosity toward the very idea of visiting a movie theatre.

Which is why it’s so heartening to see that readers of The Uniter have proclaimed that the movies are your favourite date activity. It’s a practice that’s under siege and needs to be defended.

“Anything but a movie!” the Ideal Date Section protests. “You can’t even talk during the movie.”

Of course you don’t talk during the movie, unless you’re some kind of monster. No, you watch the movie. You pay attention to it. Then when it’s done, you and your date go for coffee or drinks and talk about the movie.

Because, what are we really doing on a date? We’re judging the other person. Intensely and cynically. We’re deciding if this is the type of person we want to share time and romantic energy with. Movies are a perfect barometer for that judgment.

Firstly, there’s the discussion itself. Does your date have a thoughtful response to the movie? Its themes? Its style? Reading movies, like reading people, is complex. The way your date responds to a film tells you something about them.

Also, do you really want to spend a couple of nights a week with someone who thinks Dirty Grandpa is funny? 

When you’re scrolling through Netflix looking for something to watch, do you want your co-pilot to be the person who says, “Oh, let’s watch that Adam Sandler cowboy movie!” 

My last fling was with a wonderful person, but when she said Star Wars: The Force Awakens wasn’t as good as Jurassic World, I should have known we were doomed.

Published in Volume 71, Number 13 of The Uniter (December 1, 2016)