One of my favourite things about tabulating the votes for the Uniter 30 is reading some of the funny entries people write in their ballot. Working remotely off-campus meant that we got less votes this year than usual, but people still got a healthy amount of good jokes in.

Not all “funny” Uniter 30 entries are created equal. Many people love putting their friends’ names in categories in which they don’t belong. That is objectively not funny. But, putting your non-filmmaking friend’s name in the “favourite local filmmaker” category is a surefire way to get me to spend 10 minutes Googling whether this 19-year-old hipster is actually a filmmaker, or if they just have a really unfunny friend.

Here are some of the better, actually funny entries:

Favourite date activity

“Consensual smoochin’”

“Stay at home and sanitize hands”

“Share a large fries in my car in the parking lot of the McDonalds at Sherbrooke and Portage”

Favourite local achiever over 60

“Brian Pallister jk jk jk jk jk jk jk jk jk jk jk”

Favourite local baker

“Y’all, we need more gluten-free options in town”

“Oh Doughnuts - honestly just craving rn tbh”

Favourite local chef

“Seriously, just let me vote for my Mémé and her soup”

Favourite local gallery or artist-run centre

“None, they’re all messy bitches”

Favourite political moment

“Absolutely none of them my god”

“None, they all sucked :(“

“None, the Brians have ruined our lives”

“Every Uzoma dunk”

“RestartMB turning into an enormous dumpster fire”

“Person woman man camera TV”

“Brian Bowman saying ‘Wear a friggin’ mask!’”

“The graves outside Pallister’s death haven”

Favourite Winnipeg winter activity

“Again, consensual smoochin’!”

“Building a big-ass snow fort”

“Wishing the Canadian Museum for Human Rights was actually a giant indoor waterpark”

Favourite U of W prof

“ZZ Top”

Published in Volume 75, Number 12 of The Uniter (December 3, 2020)