Sex, Stories & Secrets

Greetings from your sex columnist in residence

Dearest gentle (and rough) readers,

A golden age is upon us wherein the mistresses and masters, from the Mezzanine Dungeon offices of The Uniter, are granting your deepest, and darkest desire. You need no longer wait for that which you have been yearning, desiring and seeking in your life as a devoted reader. Yes, my lovelies: you are getting a sex column.

Never in the past 10 years has our beloved Uniter had a column devoted entirely to talking about sex, gender, sexuality, kissing, fucking, spanking, subs, doms, tops, bottoms, leashes, swinging, squirting, non-monogamy, leather, masturbation, soap-downs, bath houses, whipping, sucking, licking and other general naughty bits of ecstasy.

Since a fair bit of time is devoted to imagining and seeking out all of the ways in which our bodies find pleasure, certainly there should be a column committed to discovering new ways to be sexual, and, well, help us take up more time thinking about sex.

The timing of this column is especially pertinent as Canada has been rife with instances of blaming survivors in cases of rape and sexual assault.

Most notable is the recent case involving Judge Robert Dewar, who appeared to partially blame the female survivor of a rape being tried in his jurisdiction because she had sent out signals that “sex was in the air.”

The reoccurring systemic blaming of women and men for being raped emphasizes the need to talk about the sexuality of all genders and sexes, and goes hand in hand with consent.

Every being should be empowered with the confidence of the emphatic “Yes!” and the agency to say “No!” Every being should be trusted and respected, and not blamed for their rape because of her/his tube top, gender presentation, or where s/he decides to walk at night.

I, Niki Columbus, your sex columnist in residence, will not only respond to your questions, and encourage your safe and consensual desires, but will also be writing about my own romps in the sack, shower and bathroom stall (or wherever else I find myself pointing my toes and getting my hair pulled).

In all honesty, just like me, this column has been a long time coming.

We are mistaken to shy away from telling sexy stories. However, not everyone has the privilege of telling their stories in a safe place.

Here, in the land of anonymity, you can tell me anything you wish, and your identity, and safety, will be honoured and preserved.

It is my hope that in sharing sexy stories we can realize not only the vibrant and diverse ways in which humans fuck, but that, because of such diversity, we need not be afraid to embrace each other—literally.

Send your questions to niki@uniter.ca. Niki will respond to as many emails as she can. Look for her next column in the June 29 issue of The Uniter.

Published in Volume 65, Number 26 of The Uniter (June 2, 2011)

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