Love at the end of the world

Well, dear reader, the last couple of days have been so tragic I can’t help but find them hilarious.

A couple days after my last column came out - the one where I gushed about my awesome relationship - I was dumped.

I was dumped the night before what was both a pretty tough midterm and Valentine’s Day.

I was dumped after I spent a good chunk of time making a mixed CD that I spent my last five dollars on. I had to borrow money from a friend to buy a household item that came to a grand total of $1.01, because they wouldn’t let me use my mom’s Visa card.

Heavy stuff, folks.

I am honestly not writing this to elicit sympathy from you or hatred toward my ex.

Thing is - this whole ordeal has shown me how awesome my life is, with or without some Johnny to keep me warm at night.

In one day I got a flood of supportive texts/phone calls, free food and even a new notebook from someone who had no idea about my situation, but was just thinking about me.

Yesterday I woke up after a good sleep, was gifted candy from a cute guy and got a gig performing in a big-deal comedy show.

You can talk about how shitty the universe is or how unlucky you are, but I truly believe that whatever you focus on expands and the difference between the “haves” and the “have-nots” is that the “have-nots” learned at some point to expect to be treated badly.

Like attracts like, and life only sucks as much as you let it.

That’s why Charlie gets the golden ticket, y’know? (I totally get that I am over-simplifying here, but just go with me).

I truly want someone to be good to and who wants to be good back. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t ask for much more from a person.

I want frequent text-versations when possible, the odd “you look nice today,” and to be the one who gets to have those special conversations with someone that no one else gets to have.

I had that with somebody, and it was fleeting, but what of it? I don’t get mad at a s’more for being gone after I partake in its deliciousness. Some things can only be enjoyed for so long.

I don’t know where to go from here, dear reader. There is a part of me that wants my ex to be downstairs right now ready to beg for me to come back, and then there’s the part of me that falls in love with beautiful strangers on a daily basis.

Right now I am trying to enjoy the mystery.

I’m not the only one who has had her heart broken, but I am the only one with my unique set of hilarious, talented, silly and kind-hearted friends.

Plus I’m a fucking hot, smart and funny girl who loves to make-out and play laser tag, so there’s that.

Will Melanie Dahling find love again? Or will she pack it in and join a nunnery? What type of dates would you like to see Melanie go on? It’s a choose-your-own-adventure in column form! Email your ideas to

Published in Volume 66, Number 21 of The Uniter (March 1, 2012)

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