Here comes the Sun

I’ve been noticing something for the past little while that has been concerning me: one of the so-called newspapers in our fair city has been spewing anything but.
For the sake of discretion, I won’t tell you which paper I’m referring to, but I will say that its name rhymes with the Winnipeg Sun - unless words don’t rhyme with themselves. In that case, it rhymes with “The Shminnipeg Shmun”.
Either way, the reason I’ve been concerned about what I happen to see in the Sun, (not because I’d ever buy a copy of the Sun, or even pick up a free copy, but because I sometimes see copies strewn about on the seats of buses on my way to work), is that the Sun is quickly turning into our own little version of Fox News.
It contains crazy right-wing ramblings disguised as news.
Now, I fully realize that I’m writing about how horrible I think the Winnipeg Sun is in The Uniter, and to call that preaching to the choir would be the understatement of the century.

To run an ad on the front page featuring Yoda professing his support for the Progressive Conservatives is just too much to bear

But my purpose is not to change any of your left-wing U of W hippie minds, but rather to let you all know what’s happening in our city right now, in case you don’t already know.
The day of the provincial election, the headline on the front page of the Sun was something akin to “Hey Selinger, move over, it’s time for a change!”
Under that was an ad for the Manitoba PC Party that featured Yoda.
It’s one thing to be insanely biased in the headlines of your paper on the day of an election, but to run an ad on the front page featuring Yoda professing his support for the Progressive Conservatives is just too much to bear (since we all know Yoda would vote Green).
I thought this was bad enough, but then the day after the election, I saw the Sun’s next offensive offering: they had a photo of Greg Selinger with his arm extended forward.
His hand was giving a thumbs up, but the headline was placed behind his hand in such a way that you couldn’t tell what his hand was doing, which made it look as if he was giving a Nazi salute.
What did the headline say, you ask?
“Fear wins!”
That’s right - this is one of the two major newspapers in our city.
I can’t believe that this kind of shit is legal, never mind that it actually happens in our city.
Until recently I was perfectly content to think of the Sun as a harmless way for people to get the sports scores and to look at strippers in bathing suits, but now I see that it’s much more insidious than I had previously suspected.
So I think there’s only one thing left for me to do: I’m going to get a job writing for the Winnipeg Sun and completely sell out my beliefs so I can bring you all the truth about how horrible all of your bleeding heart hippie opinions actually are!
J.Williamez never lets fear win.

Published in Volume 66, Number 7 of The Uniter (October 12, 2011)

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