Bearing with New Year’s

A run-down on what to do on a totally overpriced night

Nicholas Luchak

Figuring out plans for New Year’s Eve seems like one heck of a chore, which is probably why I’ve never gone out for said occasion. Here’s a potentially helpful list of stuff to do. Some spots haven’t yet posted details on their events, so keep an eye on certain venue’s Facebook and Twitter pages for more info as the fateful day draws closer. Just try to be kind to your already wounded credit score.

If smuggling alcohol into family events is something you’re into, your best bet’s the totally free fireworks at The Forks. Those start at 8 p.m. The LC on Marion St. is a 15-minute walk away, so plan your life accordingly. Unfortunately, that’s the only event that won’t cost you anything.

Browsing online reviews of Whiskey Dix is a pretty great past-time: in less than two minutes, I came across allegations that the venue features the “worst customer service in the city,” “racist employees,” “criminal activity” and is “a toxic toilet.” So there’s that. But there’s also the fact that they have the cheapest cover in the city for a New Year’s Eve party, at $10 in advance or $20 at the door.

Naturally, there’s a wide range of musical acts available. For $30, you can check the almost four-decade-old act Kenny Shields and Streetheart at The Oak. Beatles covers will flow at the Park Theatre, courtesy of The Bros. Landreth. Tickets to that are $35. Mother Groove’s serving as the feature performer at The Wood Tavern & Grill. The Purple Room’s hosting a dance party.

If you’re into something less upbeat, there’s an actual “gothic-industrial New Year’s Party” titled Apocalypse 2014 happening at the Garrick Hotel. If that gets you going, check out DJs Evil Bastard, DeadHead and Razed for $7. Or, if you want something a little less grimy, head over to Times Change(d) for a set by the Perpetrators.

The Times was recently plowed through by an errant SUV (attention Winnipeg drivers: please stop driving into buildings already). Jason Nowicki, Perps singer and guitarist, assures that both the club and band will be celebrating extra hard at 10 p.m. with a “no-holds-barred, dirty blues dance party,” given that it was originally thought the venue would have to be closed past New Year’s Eve.

One of your best bets will be catching Andrew Norelli at Rumor’s. In the past few years, he’s presented stellar comedy sets on The Late Show with David Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel Live, delivering minute-long riffs with perfect pacing. Check him out at 10 p.m. for $25, which comes with champagne and party favours at midnight.

Then there’s the $130 Hollywood Glam dinner and dance at the RBC Convention Centre. I have no idea who attends such pricey parties, but obviously someone does. If you actually consider money to be an object of value, you could just stay home, drink a $10 bottle of wine and play hours of Civilization V, which is almost certainly what I’m going to do.

Published in Volume 69, Number 14 of The Uniter (December 3, 2014)

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