Know Your Groceries

Straight from the Fridge, Dad- A Dictionary of Hipster Slang, now in its third edition, continues be a hot seller, reported the Guardian UK.

The book is a dictionary of sorts cataloguing the terms that all you Longhairs (that is, non-hipsters) probably don’t know.

These terms date all the way back to the ‘50s, from having someone ‘boil your cabbage’ (blues slang for sex) to a ‘hot squat’ (electric chair).

Other favorites include the religious (‘sinhound’=a priest), the ironic (‘free to run for president’= unemployed), the vulgar (‘riding academy’= a brothel) and the incredibly offensive (‘pulling the dutch act’=commiting suicide).

Free At Last

A British clothing retailer is taking one small step for left-handed men everywhere.

The UK-based Hom has unveiled its latest breakthrough: underpants with a horizontal opening (opposed to the traditional vertical slit), according to Reuters.com.

Breaking 75 years of proud right-handed heritage, the left-oriented openers are likely to be a big hit with the long-suffering left-handed populous, who make up 10 per cent of underwear buyers.

“Left handed men have [had] to reach much further into their pants, performing a Z shaped maneuver through two 180-degree angles before achieving the result that right handed men perform with ease,” said Rob Faucherand of Debenhams store in London.

“In our view, this is a vital step toward equality for left-handed men,” Faucherand concluded.

Perhaps one day equality will make its way to Canada too.

The Gift That Keeps Giving

Lookin’ for a Sugar Daddy? No need to look any further than your local toy store.

Mattel has just introduced its “Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken Doll,” the latest addition to its ever-growing Barbie collection, according to EntertainmentEarth.com.

Retailing for $69.99 US, Sugar Daddy Ken comes decked out in a dashing Jacquard-patterned jacket, a light pink polo shirt, crisp white pants and white shoes.

According to Mattel, “This Ken Doll is ready for the Palm Beach social season, sunning by the pool, and a stroll with his furry little companion. Look no further for your sugar daddy!”

Also available is the much younger looking “Palm Beach Swimsuit” Barbie, who comes complete with scant bikini, cover-up, sunglasses and sandals and retails for a reasonable $49.99 US.

Environmental Orgasms

Feeling guilty about the effect your love-making habits are having on the environment? You’re not alone.

New innovations have lead to a growing number of couples turning to “green intercourse,” such as using vegan condoms and hand-cranked vibrators, reported Time.com.

One company leading the change is Oregon-based Earth Erotics, whose products range from organic massage oils to whips made of recycled inner tubes.

“Our taboos prevent us from having the same consumer-safety conversations that are commonplace when you’re making a toothbrush, sneaker or baby bottle,” said Ethan Imboden, founder of Jimmyjane, a San Francisco luxury adult-toy maker.

Imboden said that because sex-toys are relatively unregulated, manufacturers often use harmful chemicals, such as bisphenol A, which can cause serious health problems.

Europe and California have already banned many such chemicals as a response.

Published in Volume 64, Number 12 of The Uniter (November 19, 2009)