Hey gang! I hope you all had a great holiday. I sure did!

I spent the week after Christmas in Mexico with my girlfriend and her family. The weather was really great and we all had tonnes of fun.

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how horrible living conditions are in Mexico. But this week, I’m going to tell you how wrong these people are and how wildly exaggerated the stories of the hardships of life in Mexico have really become.

Mexican Myth #1: People in Mexico live harsh lives under a dark cloud of poverty.

First off, people in Mexico don’t live in poverty at all. They live in huge complexes surrounded by beautifully trimmed palm trees and sparkling swimming pools. They have organized activities like volleyball and salsa dance lessons during the day and, at night, they are treated to a variety of entertaining shows featuring talented entertainers and singers.

Mexican Myth #2: People in Mexico have to work very hard for the little money they make in order to feed their families.

I don’t know who started this crazy myth, but having been there myself, I can assure you this is completely false. People in Mexico don’t have to work at all. All of their food comes in the form of complimentary, all-you-can-eat buffets! Even their drinks are free! They get three huge meals a day and can choose from such classic Mexican dishes as pizza, hamburgers, French fries, noodle salads and much more!

For dessert they can choose from about six different kinds of cake and tonnes of other dishes. The best part is that if they take something they don’t like, they can just leave it on the table and go get something else because it’s all free.

Mexican Myth #3: People in Mexico often have to work such long hours that it is sometimes difficult for them to find time to do fun things.

This one is just ludicrous. Every morning someone comes to where the Mexican people live (a dwelling that I found out during my stay is called a “resort”) to give the Mexican people a series of presentations about all the fun things they can do. These lucky devils can choose from a list of activities which includes scuba diving, parasailing and even going on what the locals call a “booze cruise.”

Mexican Myth #4: Mexican people speak mainly Spanish.

I don’t how this myth got started, but most of the people I met in Mexico spoke little to no Spanish at all. Many spoke English (commonly with a Southern drawl), while others spoke French and Italian. A few even spoke various Scandinavian languages, but only a handful even attempted to speak Spanish (and this was only to the workers, who I can only assume had been shipped in from some other unfortunate country).

That was the gist of what I learned about authentic Mexican living. I hope that by dispelling these ignorant myths, I’ve been able to help you all see what it’s really like to live in Mexico.

J. Williamez also wants you to know that he had no trouble drinking the water while in Mexico either, although down there, water comes from a bottle and not a tap. Weird.

Published in Volume 64, Number 16 of The Uniter (January 21, 2010)