Sports briefs

A ‘hairy’ situation for Lance Armstrong

You’ve heard of athletes getting tested for illegal substances using samples of their blood and urine, but now they are testing hair.

According to, while training for what is to become his comeback to the sport of cycling, Lance Armstrong was approached by a French anti-doping agency to give a sample of his hair for testing.

Doping accusations have plagued Lance Armstrong since he started his run to a record-setting seven straight Tour De France victories, though he has never tested positive.

A hair sample is especially effective at detecting a substance sometimes used called DHEA.

The only complaint Armstrong seemed to have was regarding his hairstyle.

“He didn’t make my hair look very good,” said Armstrong. “That’s why I cut it after that, after he butchered it.”

Rollercoaster week for Brodeur

Yes, he broke the record. He has the most career season wins out of any goalie in the NHL. But, it wasn’t all good news for New Jersey Devils goalie Martin Brodeur last week when he was asked to pay $500,000 a year to his former wife as part of their alimony settlement.

According to, Brodeur was ordered to keep paying this annual fee until 2020, when his youngest should graduate from high school.

On top of the alimony, Brodeur’s former wife Melanie DuBois was awarded $132,000 a year for child support and more than $9,000,000 in other assets.

The couple married in 1995 and divorced in 2003, after Brodeur admitted to having an affair with his sister-in-law.

Brother Midnight is back, baybeh!

Much to the excitement of everyone at The Uniter sports department, famed local wrestler Brother Midnight will be returning to his old stomping grounds.

The black-and-blue-masked denizen of River City Wrestling will make a guest appearance at the “Vindication” event hosted by Action Wrestling Experience at Blush Ultraclub on Wednesday, April 15.

Doors are open at 8 p.m. and the opening bell will ring at 9 p.m. Tickets are $12.50 at the door and $10 beforehand.

Morgan State’s Ali flips out at Oklahoma’s Griffin

Oklahoma University rebounder Blake Griffin got flipped – literally – by Morgan State forward Ameer Ali in the opening South Regional game of March Madness.

Ali was benched after flipping Griffin over his shoulder and onto the hardwood. No provocation was evident.

No stranger to being the victim of unsportsmanlike conduct, Griffin scored a total of 28 points and 13 rebounds in the Sooners’ 82-54 victory over the Bears.

Obama shores up the football vote

President Barack Obama has named Pittsburgh Steelers owner Dan Rooney to be the U.S. ambassador to Ireland.

Obama, who chose the Steelers to win the 2009 Super Bowl and campaigned heavily in politically lucrative Pennsylvania, called Rooney “an unwavering supporter of Irish peace, culture and education” and “an outstanding representative.”

Rooney had been a “lifelong Republican” before Obama’s victory in the Iowa caucuses, at which point he encouraged his “fellow Pennsylvanians” to throw their support behind the then-senator.

Published in Volume 63, Number 25 of The Uniter (March 26, 2009)

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