Bathroom Graffiti

As a rule, I try to avoid the university washrooms at all costs. Risking an exploding bladder on the bus ride home is worth it to avoid the unknown bacteria lurking in those orange stalls. I’ve even discovered a hidden private bathroom that barely anyone uses.

But I won’t say where it is.

My favourite part of our bathrooms is the ridiculous amount of graffiti on the walls. It ranges from the philosophic to the mundane (things about penises and such), but never ceases to entertain me in the short amount of time I spend enclosed by it.

Why do people feel the urge to write down their thoughts while peeing? It seems to be like an unsophisticated Facebook post. Maybe the writers revisit the same stalls over and over, hoping for an argument or response from a fellow student.

In some cases this happens, with pretty funny results.

Those are the gems of bathroom graffiti hunting, the responses to the vain and pretentious quotes written by some first year philosophy student. When a single response is able to bitch slap the initial quote and see through what the author was trying to achieve, I appreciate that someone took the time to grab a pen from their bag and counter the bullshit people write.

But then again, bathroom stalls are not like Facebook. Everything you write on them is anonymous (with the exception of “Call me, Amy at 555-1234 for a good time,” etc.) and you’ll never see a rebuttal of your statement if you don’t want to.

Cowardly, perhaps. Smart, maybe. I guess these “authors” get a sense of power from writing their thoughts, knowing that someone will be FORCED to read it while partaking in natural human bodily functions.

If you really want to get a message out to the world, don’t write it on the wall of a bathroom stall. The Internet has created better ways to do that…start a pretentious blog about how interesting your life is and how much you love a certain pair of shoes or something. People love that shit.

I wonder if people pre-meditate bathroom graffiti. Do they walk out of an inspiring class and say: “Oh my god! I must share this with the world!” but only make it far enough to the bathroom and then forget about it?

The best thing I’ve ever read in a bathroom is still, “The Lion King is just Hamlet, with lions.” It blew my mind.

Check out my blogs in the next few weeks where I will upload photos of the best bathroom graffiti the U of W has to offer.