Facebook broke the news to me that a friend had been killed

Facebook broke the news to me that a friend had been killed.

Amanda Frizzley, a Dr. Hook tow truck driver, was just doing her job that fateful morning on Sept. 30, 2007 when she was hit by a drunk driver. The collision, which was the result of the driver speeding the wrong way down a one-way street, was so forceful that it flipped Mandy’s tow truck onto its roof.

She was only 26 years old.

Everyone I knew figured someone had notified me; but no one had. I’ll never forget the evening, a few days after the accident, when I was doing my homework and took a break to check my Facebook. The first thing that popped up in my Facebook news feed was a page dedicated to the memory of a dear friend I thought I still had.

It was a total shock.

Although I hadn’t seen Mandy in a few months, it didn’t change the fact she had a huge impact on my life for the two years leading up to the crash. We used to share tea, stories and hugs in my apartment which was right above her own. However, as it sometimes does, life got busy and I lost track of her.

Normally, Facebook is a means to stay connected with the people around us; but in the case of Mandy and I, it was only there to tell me about her tragic death. It wasn’t there to console me after breaking the news the way a friend would have been. It didn’t hug me and reminisce about the good times we had together. It didn’t prepare me for the harsh reality of the situation. It just told me with cold, emotionless truth and without explanation, that my friend was gone. 

Social media has changed the way we receive news, for better or worse. 

In the case of Nodar Kumaritashvili, a Georgian luger who lost his life at this year’s Olympic Games, how many times did his family and friends have to see his horrific accident? How many times did the hearts of his family and friends break as it was repeatedly broadcast on TV and the internet?

Now when you Google the names of the two people mentioned above, the stories of their deaths are right there at the top of the page. You can’t escape it.

While I wish that Facebook hadn’t brought me such devastating news about my friend Mandy, it did create a positive forum in which people could remember her. Through this forum, those who loved Mandy could share with each other. The page, which was used to post stories, upload pictures and remember her is mentioned in almost every article written about her death. In this sense, Facebook served its purpose and brought a great amount of healing for friends and family.

I just wish it had been one of those friends, rather than a social networking site, which had broken the news to me that day.