Ciku Gitonga
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Faith
In the place I grew up, church was at the centre of everything. Sweethearts met at Bible study, married in the chapel and made their friends over years of smalltalk and tea each Sunday after church.
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White lies
Sometimes, I feel like the wrong kind of African. I came to Canada when I was 17. Now, I am a citizen. All the time, I get the question: “have you gone back to Kenya since you left?”
I get it from immigrants and Canadians alike, and each time my answer is the same.
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Burrowing
By some accidental sequence of thoughtless actions, I discovered the possibility of disappearing into a man’s life for a day, a week, a short time, burrowing into a shared warmth, a stillness away from the ever-moving surface of everyday life.
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Turning 24
January 2023 hit like a ton of bricks, and something else is on the way: my 24th birthday.
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Grey areas
My sister and I call them “grey areas.”
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I don’t have friends
Reading week was rough. On the second lonely night, I waited for my sister to come home from the library.
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Privileged
“Nitumie ka-mia mbili,” Mom texts. I roll my eyes. But I send her the $200 immediately.
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White frenemy
Let’s call him Tony. He called me a close friend. He was older, almost 40.
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Against caution
Recently, I took one of my procrastination plunges into YouTube and watched the latest video from my favourite channel, Oh Stephco!
In it, Stephanie, a Black woman in her late 30s, gives frank and funny anecdotes about navigating a world that does not always value her.
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To be held
Let’s call him Jack. We matched on Tinder in early 2019, when I had just turned 20. He was nine years older than me.
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What is expected
It was during childhood that a line appeared before me, and I stepped back and found myself in the category of “girl.”