Uniter 30 outtakes

Highlights from those who didn’t win anything

In tallying the votes for this issue, one of the greatest joys and greatest challenges is going through all the reader submissions. It’s wonderful to see a wide variety of awesome Winnipeg people, places and things being nominated.

It can also sometimes be difficult to wade through hundreds of submissions where the same person or place may be entered with three or four different spellings, or phrasings, or in different orders, but we found a way to sort them all out – and in the process, ended up reading pretty much every single one.

There were some real gems in the submissions this year, though, and rather than keep them as anonymous inside jokes, we thought we’d share some of them with fellow readers. Some are notable because they’re original or unusual, and others are just funny.

(Editorial note: while some obviously jokey submissions are fun, we do encourage readers to nominate people/places/things that could actually get featured in each category.)

We can’t name who wrote these, ’cause we don’t know, but a brief version of the category they were found in follows each outtake.

“Thrift shopping for accordions.” (Date activity)

“Coffee News hahaha”
(Publication)

“Brian Pallister, 'I prefer beer'.”     
(Political moment)

“The ledge* lawn 420.”
(Public gathering space) *legislature, we assume

“Taking an out-of-towner to Portage & Main and talking about how bad it is you can't walk across.”
(Date activity)

“Hopefully Trump's impeachment between now and the end of the year.”
(Political moment)

“Uncle Peter after a few drinks.”
(Dancer)

“The large baseballs outside of Shaw Park.”
(Public art piece)

“Finding the perfect mittens.”
(Winter activity)

“The pothole on Corydon by Kenaston.”
(Place that no longer exists)

“Go to NK community centre and eat borscht.”
(Date activity)

“The Where's Waldos around WPG.”
(Public art piece)

“Cemetery.”
(Public gathering space)

“Not falling.”
(Winter activity)

“The Golden Boy.”
(Public art piece)

“I’m not telling you my favourite place to drink, because then you’ll go there.”
(Place to eat or drink)

“Hospital emergency rooms.”
(Place that no longer exists)

“Every fascist rally falling flat, while solidarity rallies were one big party.”
(Political moment)

“Think about moving, knowing I'll never move.”
(Winter activity)

“God, we need a good public space in this city.”
(Public gathering space)

There was also the reader who wrote “communism” in 11 categories and “cool” in 15 others, though none of those entries placed.

Published in Volume 72, Number 12 of The Uniter (November 30, 2017)

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