7 stars out of 5 (13-year-old OH-EM-GEE fangirl rating)
0.5 stars out of 5 (Music aficionado rating)

If you’re a preteen girl, you’ll love These Kids Wear Crowns. If you’re a music aficionado, you’ll see through the gimmick of this Chilliwack, B.C.-based sextet. After appearing on MuchMusic’s reality show DisBAND, these kids have quickly built relationships with Canadian acts like Hedley and Faber Drive. If you’re a preteen girl, you’ll fall for all the digital instrumentation, radio-weary song structures and such poetic lyrics as “You got me counting down the days / And it’s taking forever and ever / But I am still singing myself to sleep.” If you’re a music aficionado, you’ll wonder where the hell all the heart and soul that used to be in music went and will have switched to something else. If you’re a preteen girl, you’ll love singing this album out loud with your girlfriends at your next slumber party. If you’re anybody else you’ll probably wonder if this is seriously the best young “pop/rock” band that Canada can produce and market.

Published in Volume 65, Number 9 of The Uniter (October 28, 2010)