The Toy Basket: In through the out door

Bunny Ben Wa dishes out anal safety tips so you don’t get butthurt

Staff

Hi kittens, Bunny Ben Wa here. This month I’m going to take a running leap into an activity that you should never take a running leap into.

I’d like to talk to all you dirty love birdies who are thinking about anal sex. First of all, congratulations! Trying new things is an awesome learning experience and potentially way fun. 

There is so much to cover on this subject, so for today I’m going to focus on my inexperienced friends and start with the basics.

Bum play can feel really great for both male and female bodies. Your pooter is packed with nerve endings, but not everyone is going to enjoy having them stimulated. Whether you end up loving it, hating it, or landing somewhere in between, you are a normal human being. Relax and own it!

START SMALL. Your bon-bon is most likely tight and shy about talking to strangers. Sometimes a person needs to get used to being touched “down there” before any penetration can take place. Your sex friend isn’t going to be open to moving further if you have a pushy attitude, so be patient with yourself and your partner.

Ready for insertion? I recommend a small plug. A lot of people start with fingers and while there is nothing inherently wrong with this, it’s hard to lose yourself when both of you are keeping a conscious eye on where “that finger” ends up afterward. Anal plugs are available in a variety of sizes and price points. I’ve always found the “butt wall” at Smitten on Osborne very reassuring.

Plugs can also stay in while you engage in other activities (grocery shopping anyone?), and provide a lot of added stimulation simply by giving you something to squeeze, especially at the point of orgasm when your muscles contract naturally. Plugs are made to stay in, not to be thrust in and out. On the other hand, beads are made to be pulled out (slowly!) at the point of orgasm. Normally beads graduate in size, so you can start with the top half and ignore those bigger beads if they intimidate you. Anal toys MUST include a ridge around the bottom or “base,” to keep them from going up where they cannot be retrieved. 

Lubricant is the most important item on your bum sex list. The rectum does not lubricate itself, so that’s up to you. Silicone-based lube is marvelous, and unlike water-based lubes, it doesn’t dry up quickly. If you are using a silicone toy, however, a silicone lube can cause a reaction and essentially melt the toy. Sliquid’s Sassy lube is made thick for anal play and completely water-based, but if you really enjoy the feel of silicone, their Silk lube is diluted enough that I’ve found it doesn’t react with toys.

I hope I’ve helped you ease in and feel welcome to the world beyond the back door. There’s so much more I could say, but that my friends is a story for another day. Keep safe and have fun exploring!

Published in Volume 68, Number 17 of The Uniter (January 22, 2014)

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