Let’s face it: The Jets suck

Hi gang! As you all know I normally tend stay away from controversial issues, but this week I have something to say that’s been building up for a while and I need to get it off my chest.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m as happy as the next guy that we here in Winnipeg have our beloved Jets back (if only for the fact that people have finally stopped talking about getting the Jets back).

But along with the return of the Jets, I’ve noticed a very unsettling trend.

It seems like, now that the Jets are back, there are about 500 times as many hockey jocks in Winnipeg as there were a year ago. Everywhere you look, there are people sporting brand new $300 Jets jerseys, drinking brewskis and yelling shit about hockey at the top of their lungs.

In and of itself, this doesn’t bother me. I think it’s great that we as a city are showing so much support, especially for a team that sucks so much.

Yeah that’s right, I said it. They suck. I don’t mean it sucks that they’re here, or that it sucks that people like them. I’m just saying that they are a bad hockey team.

As I write this they are 2-4-1 on the season, even with the most fanatic fans in the league.

If they end up winning the Cup this year (or even making the playoffs) I will eat my words and issue a retraction, but as of right now, they suck.

Sometimes I feel like everyone is so sensitive and defensive about the Jets that telling a fan that that the Jets suck is sort of like telling a mom she has an ugly baby.

It shouldn’t be, though. Leafs fans have become used to it.

Anyway, the thing that bugs me about this new swarm of hockey jocks in our city is that hockey is slowly seeping into every other aspect of life in Winnipeg.

Case in point: I was at a concert over the weekend at the Garrick Theatre. We were being treated to two amazing bands, Oka and Delhi 2 Dublin. This was a kick ass show - probably one of the best I’ve seen in years.

At one point, the singer from Delhi to Dublin mentioned that he was happy we got the Jets back. Then, sporadically throughout the rest of the show, you could hear the ever increasingly signature “Go, Jets, go” chants between songs.

This was a little too much in my opinion, and I have to admit, it made me feel a little ashamed.

Here we were watching this unbelievable performance and the crowd couldn’t stop chanting about our shitty hockey team.

If anything, it should be the other way around. People at Jets games should chant “Delhi 2 Dublin! Delhi 2 Dublin!”

I guess what I’m saying is that I can’t wait for the novelty of the Jets to die down, so we can all get back to the comfortable normalcy of complaining about how much the Jets suck.

If J. Williamez were to write a song about Winnipeg, there would be a line in it that goes, “The Guess Who sucked, the Jets are lousy anyway.”

Published in Volume 66, Number 9 of The Uniter (October 26, 2011)

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