Jesus, Vishnu and Muhammad meeting at the altar

Religious weddings provide endless options for those getting hitched

Pastor Bob Pauls of the Carman Mennonite Church has seen the appeal religion has for newlyweds through the many religious weddings he administers across Manitoba. Mark Reimer

Couples wanting to tie the knot have an overwhelming number of options at their fingertips, from choosing the band to choosing an exotic location. But when it comes to the ceremony, what kind of religious service suits the contemporary couple?

While some are opting for an alternative ceremony, others are returning to their roots for a traditional religious service.

Tara Cameron-Tilokani met her husband in South Korea at a baseball game. That’s where they also had their first wedding ceremony, decked out in jerseys labeled ‘bride’ and ‘groom.’

Three months later they had a spiritual wedding in Thailand, combining her husband’s Hindu culture with her western, Christian background. Cameron-Tilokani’s best friend was ordained online for the occasion.

“He was the mesh and he kind of put everything together,” she said of her friend.

The couple finished off with a confirmation ceremony at a Hindu temple in India, the husband’s home country.

Cameron-Tilokani was happy to combine her and her husband’s cultural and religious backgrounds in their nuptials. For her, the ceremonies weren’t so much about religion as about spirituality.
“It’s not the specific rules of a religion, but the faith or the beliefs around the religion” that are important to her, she said.

Weddings filled with religious symbols are growing in popularity amongst Canada’s young, cosmopolitan newlyweds.

“I’m finding there’s an increase in people who are wanting… something spiritual,” said marriage commissioner Sheri Rehill, owner of Joining Hearts Wedding Services.
Rehill works with clients to create uniquely tailored ceremonies that accommodate their faiths.

“I work with each couple in creating something that is very customized and personalized… I’m not telling them, ‘this is your ceremony, take it or leave it,’” she said.

And when she says personalized, she means it. Rehill recently performed a Days of Our Lives-themed ceremony for a soap opera fan.

Yet many couples are looking for a more serious service, which may or may not include religious elements such as prayers. Despite the available alternatives, many opt for the traditional religious service even if they are not practicing.

“It’s the sense of ceremony, it’s the sense of occasion that comes with church weddings,” said Pauline Greenhill, a professor of women’s and gender studies at the University of Winnipeg who has done research on weddings.

Greenhill feels that non-practicing individuals can be drawn to a religious institution for their wedding because it brings a sense of formality to this milestone occasion.
There is the idea that “the religious folks are the professionals,” she said.

Reverend Robert Campbell of Westminster United Church in Winnipeg feels the traditional meaning of religion is particularly appealing when planning a wedding.
“The traditions of the church at a time like that are important to them.”

For that reason, Westminster provides wedding services for non-members.

“The feeling is that this is an opportunity for us to open a door and introduce ourselves to people who are not part of the church,” Campbell said.

But although welcoming to those who want a religious service, Westminster does not offer secular or interfaith services.

“We operate within a certain tradition and we have to be faithful to that tradition,” Campbell said.

Published in Volume 63, Number 21 of The Uniter (February 26, 2009)

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