I’ll be gentle

The Uniter’s new sex toy columnist has advice for ‘newcomers’

Salutations! I’m Bunny Ben Wa and I’ll be taking you on a guided tour of all things that slip, slide, buzz and tickle. That’s right, sex toys.

There’s this pretty lame idea floating around out there that sex toys are only for people who can’t get “the real thing.” Well, I’m here to tell you that just isn’t true. 

Yes, the penis, vagina and any exciting combination of the two are just dandy on their own – none of us would be here if they weren’t – but there are only so many things you can do with “the real thing.” 

So, why not take advantage of the many fun devices out there, what with the speeds and settings and all kinds of fun nubbly bubblies. Think of it less as replacing and more as exploring. Your sex toy experience can be whatever you want it to be: solo, with a partner or with 16 of your closest pals. Why not?

I’ll be here once a month with a new and exciting product, plus all the information you need to use it. For now, let’s cover some basics. Think of this as foreplay. Fun!


It’s important to have some lube on hand, even for the dewiest of meadows. It prevents internal tears due to too much friction, makes vibrations go further and can help you out if you’re having a staycation with marathon sex on the agenda. 

I’ll talk more about lubricant in future articles, but I really love Sliquid (www.sliquid.com). The slippery stuff is glycerine and paraben-free, has super groovy vegan ingredients and is available at Smitten, located in the heart of the Osborne Village.

Toy Cleaner

A lot of folks try to cut corners by skipping the cleaner. I say spare the (at most) $14. Your private parts will thank you. Other antibacterial products can be super harsh and can degrade the surface of the toy. Also, soap leaves behind a film which can trap bacteria. Gross. I like spray cleaners because they are quick, easy and you won’t use a lot at once.

Beginner Toys

Bullet vibes – simply the term for any small vibrator that looks like a bullet or sometimes egg – are a great place to start because you can use them alone or with a partner for pinpoint stimulation. Also, they are nice and small for the easily intimidated. 

However, if you’re thinking of inserting a toy, bullets aren’t always the best bet because you may have to go fishing for it later. 

For anal play, always use a toy with a ridge around the bottom or something to hold onto. The vagina may be a cul-de-sac, but the anus leads to a highway full of terrifying twists and turns.

Within couples, a lot of men are shy about using toys because while it’s considered sexy (and even celebrated with parties) for women to play with themselves, it’s sometimes labeled as “gross” when a guy wants a little extra stimulation. Screw that! Dudes, start with a vibrating cock ring. They’re a fun, cheap little accessory for intercourse or fellatio. Wee!

Published in Volume 68, Number 6 of The Uniter (October 10, 2013)

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