Arts Briefs

Sleep now in the Friar

The devil rocks in mysterious ways.

Cesare Bonizzi, Italy’s heavy-metal monk, and frontman of the band Fratello Metallo (Metal Brother), has decided to call it quits, reported Reuters.

The white-bearded 63-year-old, who fell in love with metal 15 years ago after a Metallica concert, explained to reporters the reason he felt the need to get out: the devil.

“The devil has separated me from my managers, risked making me break up with my band colleagues and also risked making me break up with my fellow monks. He lifted me up to the point where I become a celebrity and now I want to kill him,” said the monk in a farewell video.

Bonizzi has since shaved off his long mane, continuing to devote his life to his faith.

The monk’s upcoming metal-off with Satan remains unconfirmed. 

Chocolate Reign

A Parisian sweet maker has taken a unique approach in commemorating the end of communism.

Marking the twentieth anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, chocolatier Patrick Roger decided to recreate the infamous barrier, this time out of chocolate, reported Chocoparis.com

His replica is an astonishing 15-meter-long structure, made of 900 kilograms of chocolate, which took three weeks to build.

It is even decorated with reproductions of the wall’s original graffiti art, using cocoa butter mixed with food coloring.

The wall has since been torn down, and is being sold piece by piece at Roger’s chocolate shops around Paris.

Who knew capitalism could be so sweet?

Feel the Breeze

A Romanian thief became an unwitting underwear model as he attempted to rob a supermarket, but was caught with his pants down, according to Sky News.

The 22-year-old man became stuck attempting to sneak into the store through a small window, and relinquished his trousers trying to wriggle free.

He remained trapped half-way through the gap for 11 hours, as his cold behind remained in full view of onlookers until fire crews were finally able to free him.

Residents of the small Portuguese town of Almancil are reported to have gathered for several hours to laugh at the young man’s misfortune.

“Half in, half out, the poor guy wanted to move and couldn’t, and without trousers,” one resident explained.

Once freed, the man was taken into police custody.

Watch the video here: www.tinyurl.com/windybum.

Fat Club

Four Peruvians were recently arrested in Lima on suspicion of kidnapping, murder and the trafficking of human fat, according to Reuters.

The four men were believed to be members of a gang whose primary enterprise is killing people and selling their precious fat cells to cosmetics manufacturers.

“We have people detained who have declared and stated how they murdered people with the aim being to extract their fat in rudimentary labs and sell it,” a police representative told reporters.

Police collected large numbers of used soda and water bottles, which the group used to store the fat it collected.

The gang is believed to be responsible for nearly sixty homicides in the area, with dozens of remains having been uncovered already.

Perhaps Fight Club was never meant to be translated into Spanish.

Published in Volume 64, Number 13 of The Uniter (November 26, 2009)

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